Painting Word Pictures

Recently, I received a revise/resubmit request from a publisher to whom I’d submitted an MFM novel. One of the things the editor asked me to work on was description. She pointed out that, among other things, none of the three main characters was described in any way.

Description is one of my downfalls in writing. In my mind, I can picture the characters and the actions and the setting. Something is lost in the translation between my brain and the page, though. Sometimes I don’t have a clear enough picture, while other times I visualize it so strongly that I forget the reader can’t see what’s in my head.

It is important in writing to describe things well. The reader wants to know what the characters look like so they can identify with them better or picture things as they’re happening. They want to know where the characters are, and what senses other than sight are coming into play.

Definitely something I need to work on. One of the things the editor mentioned was that she was confused by the description of the heroine’s apartment. In my mind, I can clearly picture the apartment, because it’s based on mine. Perhaps a bit too clearly, because I just kind of forgot that the reader wouldn’t know what my apartment looked like. I need to add more description so readers will know where Corin and Elena live.

And figure out how to describe the characters. I have their images in my head, but I can’t really use those to go by. They’re too close to resembling real-life people I know, and at least one of those people might not be pleased at being the model for a romance novel character. So I’ll have to see what I can figure out, or find pictures of people who might fit the physical description and use those to help me along.

I’m a very visual person, so I tend to become hung up on using sight as the sole basis for description. As was pointed out to me, there are other senses, and to have well-rounded description the author needs to appeal to all of them. How does the character sound? What do they smell like? Etc.

I would tend to assume that in genre romance (paranormal, fantasy, historical, etc.), description would be even more important, because the setting, clothing, etc. are important parts of the story and help let the reader know when and where things are taking place.

I don’t do a very good job of painting word pictures. I have pretty decent stories, and I’ve received good feedback on my characterization. We just don’t know what my characters look like. So that’s something I need to work on.

Edit, Revise, Repeat

Or: Just when you think the story’s finished…

Writing is hard work, don’t ever doubt it. Despite all the people who’ve said to me, “Oh, you write? That can’t be that hard. I’m thinking about writing a novel. It should only take me a couple weeks.” Yeah…um… reality check.

I write fast. Occasionally I do something called “Word Wars” with some online writing friends, where a timer is set for 20-30 minutes and during that time, you’re only allowed to write or revise. I think I mentioned it in last week’s post. During that time, if I’m writing, I usually manage 1200-1500 words. Occasionally a bit less, occasionally a bit more, depending on what I’m writing. Going at that pace, if I did four rounds of 30 minutes each per day, I could in theory finish the first draft of a novel in about two to three weeks. (Not that I ever manage to sustain that pace for more than a day or two, but we’re being hypothetical here.)

The problem is, my writing isn’t over when I reach “the end.” I tend to write my first drafts, then go back and edit and revise. So for me, the end is just the beginning. Once I reach that point, I have to go back and read through the story. Make sure it all makes sense, watch out for my “pet words” that I overuse, and so on. It also helps to have another set of eyes go over it, though I’m not always able to find someone to do that for me.

Writing isn’t as easy as non-writers sometimes seem to think it is. For me, the first draft is often the easiest part, because I just let the writing flow and whatever comes out, comes out. If it doesn’t make sense or is phrased awkwardly or whatever, I know I can go back after I’ve finished the story and fix it. I know other authors who revise as they write; same concept, just in a different time-frame. The point is, you can’t just write a story and expect it to be published. Writers have to work at making their story the best it can be *before* the publisher lays eyes on it.

And of course, after the story’s accepted (as we all hope it will be!), the publisher will ask the author to make some changes and corrections and so forth. In other words, just because it’s accepted doesn’t mean it’s perfect. And editors at publishing houses do not do all the work for the author. They guide the author through at least some of it.

So yeah, writing’s definitely work. I have one novel that’s now available (Eternal Love) that I put through three rounds of revisions myself before I ever sent it to the publisher, and then, as I recall, it went through two or three more rounds before it was pronounced ready. And that isn’t even counting the line editing!

Writing is work, editing even more so, but it’s all definitely worth it.

18 months. The gestation period of a whale.

No longer flying high. This getting published thing is work! Here’s what’s up with The Yard Men Series: This weekend, I am wrapping up a fairly lengthy synopsis (11-12 pages) and have finished the first four chapters of THE CARNAL SINS OF RAPHAEL.

The Carnal Sins of Raphael Blurb:

Five years ago, pure as an angel, hot as the devil, Raphael Lewis, Lord St. Aldwyn, did something unforgiveable to Fanny Greyville-Nugent. Now, the Scotland Yard agent is assigned to escort the wealthy industrialist heiress from Edinburgh to London. Her life is in danger from the noted anti-progressive, Bellecote Mallory, who has recently tumbled into madness and gone underground. One by one, Mallory is murdering prominent members of the modern, industrialized world by their own machines and Fanny is next in line.

In the years since their almost engagement, Fanny has come to terms with her scandalous humiliation by Rafe Lewis, even thought of it as a blessing. She has let go of her childish, infuriating infatuation and learned to hate him. Now, what with her father’s untimely death, and her impending birthday, four and twenty, she is officially on the shelf, and alone.

Rafe shows up in Edinburgh just in time for the burial ceremony. Spurned at the cemetery he follows her the wake, where she is abducted. Rafe chases down the kidnappers and rescues Fanny but they are pursued by Mallory’s henchmen. On the run, they race against the clock on a wild chase, fighting their inescapable attraction to one another. They argue and bicker from Edinburgh to London until they are carried away by their passions, but can Rafe ultimately redeem himself?

This past weekend I also began the synopsis and first four chapters of A VERY PRIVATE DUEL WITH PHINEAS GUNN, the third book contracted in the The Yard Men series. I have until October 15th to complete the synopsis and chapters before my edits arrive on book one, THE YARD MAN. I think there may be revisions as well as edits. Richard (agent) seems to think the revisions will be minor, so no huge rewrites. Crossing fingers. We shall see!

A Very Private Duel with Phineas Gunn Blurb:
Reclusive, supercilious sleuth, Phineas Gunn isn’t interested in solving a simple burglary case until he is robbed by the clever cat burglar. As the intensely private Scotland Yard agent pursues the menacing thief from ballroom to garden party to musicale, his patience with and resistance to Miss Samantha Meriwether begins to wear thin. Much to his utter disdain and amazement, he finds himself increasingly attracted to the devilish, impertinent young woman.

Deft and quick-witted Samantha must stay sharp and move fast if she is to evade Mr. Gunn and recover the jewels that are rightfully hers. The night Phineas catches her red handed, an attempt is also made on her life. As they unbutton each other’s clothing, they form a makeshift alliance to pursue the real criminal behind the jewel theft and murder attempt. What they discover opens deep wounds and family secrets, but will the strange and startling revelations bring Sam and Phin closer together?

And so what’s up with Phaeton? I have a lengthy outline and world building profile with an odd cast of supporting characters already in the works. The next book in the series is titled: THE MOONSTONE AND MISS JONES and is going to be a continuing series with Phaeton and America. As soon as I deliver the two Yard Men manuscripts I will begin working on Phaeton. Waiting to write Phaeton is like anticipating dessert!

The worst part of all this is it feels like the book release dates are far, far away. Richard says all authors are impatient with the lengthy lead times in publishing. Usually 18 months, the gestation period of a sperm whale.

G. Jillian Stone
There are fields in time that burn with desire. Meet me there.

Jillian is a 2010 Golden Heart winner for THE YARD MAN, which has sold to Pocket Books, release date March 2012. Scotland Yard detectives have never been as wickedly sexy or as brilliantly clever. Her recent novel, the story of a devilish occult detective who falls for a sultry Cajun beauty titled, THE SEDUCTION OF PHAETON BLACK has also sold to Kensington, release date September 2012. For blurbs on both books please drop by her website: http://www.gjillianstone.com

So…

After a couple weeks’ hiatus caused by pure forgetfulness, here I am again, and I apologize for missing my scheduled posting date two weeks in a row.

Even though I’ve forgotten to blog, I have been remembering to write. Quite a bit of writing, actually. I had a slump for a little while thanks to an uncooperative novella and a few personal issues, but things seem to have picked back up now. One of the things that’s really helped me is timing my writing, a tip I picked up from my writing friend Lex Valentine. I set a timer for 20-30 minutes depending on mood and time constraints, and for that time I just plain write or revise. No internet distractions, no answering the phone, and I’ve developed the habit of saying, “Timer on” and “timer off” so my kids know not to interrupt me unless someone’s dying or the house is on fire.

Thanks to this habit, I’ve now completed the uncooperative novella, revised it, and submitted it to one of my publishers yesterday. I’ve completed another novella, though it needs a bit of tweaking because it was kind of supposed to be erotic romance, and the erotic just plain didn’t happen. So now I need to negotiate with the characters and see if I can get them to go to bed with each other instead of arguing with me about it.

Meanwhile I have a few other things on my “waiting for response” queue, including an erotic short and a paranormal-with-romantic-elements novel that I’ve submitted in the past two weeks. And sitting beside me on my desk, waiting to be slid into an envelope and mailed, is a new contract for an erotic romance novella. (I’m going to hold off on saying which publisher until I’ve mailed it, though I think I have announced it in a few other places.)

So…yeah. I’ve been busy with writing and real life. Hopefully things are settling down on the real life front now, and as for the writing, that’s going well and I don’t want it to settle down. LOL

Hope you all are having productive Septembers, that anyone who’s in school is settling in there, and that the other parents out there are coping with having their kids back in school. (I have a seventh grader and a tenth grader this year…good grief, that makes me feel old!)

Happy reading, and I’ll see you next week.

A Tale of Two Book Offers.

OKAY! After a few weeks spent with my feet off the ground, I am now officially back to work and ready to blog. Gosh, where do I begin? In the space of little more than a month I have gone from 2010 GH finalist to Golden Heart winner for THE YARD MAN. And as the Aussie guy who sells the onion chopper on TV says––but wait there’s more!

On July 27, I was in the Dallas airport waiting for my connecting flight, checking my phone for messages. I was expecting to meet a GH finalist sister there, who was on the same flight to Orlando. There was a message, from a 212 area code. NYC. My heart rate accelerated slightly. Turns out it was Audrey LaFehr, Kensington, with a book offer for recently completed manuscript THE SEDUCTION OF PHAETON BLACK.

Great! Awesome! (Insert numerous crazy-mixed feelings here.) I had an offer and no agent.

During the conference, my crit partner and I e-mailed every agent I had queried over the last four months and you would not believe the response. And I’m talking big agents. HUGE. It was both exciting and overwhelming. One afternoon, Richard Curtis sat down beside me at the Dolphin fountain and we struck up a conversation. (Fairy tales can come true, it can happen to you––if you are in the Magic Kingdom, Orlando, Florida.) That evening THE YARD MAN won the Romantic Suspense category and Richard took my crit partner and I out for a glass of champagne. Three days later, after reading both my manuscripts, he offered representation. I could not be more thrilled. He is the perfect agent for me. We are muy simpatico.

On my trip home from Orlando, sitting in the airport, my cell phone rang. Damn! If it wasn’t another editor with an offer for THE YARD MAN.

From now on, when anyone asks me how to snag an agent or publisher, the simple answer has got to be: Always check your messages in airports. And spend plenty of time skulking around the hotel lobby at writer’s conferences!

On August 19, 2010, Richard called to confirm electronic hand shakes on two book deals. The offer we accepted for THE YARD MAN came from Danielle Poiesz, Pocket Books and we have also accepted Audery LaFer’s offer for THE SEDUCTION OF PHAETON BLACK. Both offers are three book deals.

After a carefree happy dance around my desk, I sobered up fast when Richard called back and went over a tentative release schedule and my delivery dates for books two and three––of two contracts. I did a bit of quick figuring and calculated I have four books to deliver in just a little under 24 months.  Yikes!

As I prepare to hit the ground running, I appeal to blog readers and writers everywhere for HELP! If you have any practical tips, time saving ideas, or schedule-juggling-pointers, please drop a line in comments. This has been an awesome summer I will never forget, and now if you will excuse me, I have books to write!

G. Jillian Stone

There are fields in time that burn with desire. Meet me there.

Jillian is a 2010 Golden Heart winner for THE YARD MAN, which has sold to Pocket Books, release date spring 2012. Scotland Yard detectives have never been as wickedly sexy or as brilliantly clever. Her recent novel, the story of a devilish occult detective who falls for a sultry Cajun beauty titled, THE SEDUCTION OF PHAETON BLACK has also sold to Kensington, for release in fall 2012. For blurbs on both books please drop by her website: www.gjillianstone.com