Too Hard, Too Soft, or Just Right?

By Kay Springsteen

Does it matter if your heroine is wearing a red shirt or a white one? Does it matter if the hero notices the color? I firmly believe in adding sensory details – what the characters experience on every level: see, hear, taste, smell, feel, and think. But it’s been argued that such details are unnecessary, boring, weigh the story down, or that the reader might prefer to fill in the blanks.

Certainly, a fine line exists between too hard, too soft, and just right. That sweet spot in the middle between too many details and too few is the “just right” of writing. But it’s not so much how many details you use as how you present them.

If I want to show the reader how my heroine is dressed, I can describe it.

She chose a red shirt with a plunging neckline and flared sleeves, then pulled on the pair of faded blue jeans with the wide bell bottom hem.

Well, we know what she’s wearing but even I yawned halfway through the sentence, and I wrote it. Now, we could have her examine herself in the mirror and think about how the red adds a bit of vibrant color to her skin and she doesn’t look so pale. We could mention pulling on her favorite red shirt and then describe the outfit from the hero’s point of view.

So what’s the most relevant part of the description to the story? What do I want to show? A flash of color maybe? Or the fact that she’s casually dressed? What the plunging neckline does for the hero? In this case, I opted to show that the shirt was loose and red because the color is what will come back later in the story (when she sees the splash of red and finds her ruined shirt in her suitcase).

The breeze whipped around the side of the house and plastered the loose red shirt to her body, outlining every delicious curve and asset for his eager eyes.

But this doesn’t show the plunging neckline or the flared sleeves. Are they important? Not especially but in order to paint a fuller picture, I can add these details in a sprinkling can fashion further along in the passage. For instance, the hero can embrace the heroine and trail kisses from her neck along the plunging neckline of her shirt to stop where it meets in between her breasts. Or the breeze can make the heroine chilly and she can rub her arms, pushing her hands beneath the flared sleeves of the shirt.

The trick is to use a watering can to sprinkle in the details rather than a fire hose to saturate the reader with sensory overload.  Happy reading and writing!

And check out the Goodreads giveaway for the Regency romance I wrote with Kim Bowman! A Lot Like a Lady giveaway.

~Kay

5 Great Lines – The Wedding

5 Great Lines from Julie Garwood, The Wedding

1

She let him know how much she liked what he was doing by scoring his back with her nails and crying out with pleasure.

2

Still, they were two thorns from the same thistle. Their tactics in terrorizing innocent ladies were identical. Their behavior was downright sinful, but what made it even worse was the fact that neither warrior seemed to realize the effect he had on others.

3

Brenna decided to make her papa proud of her and behave like a proper young lady. She grabbed a fistful of her skirt, hiked it up to her knees, and bent down to curtsy. She promptly lost her balance and almost hit her head against the floor, but she was quick enough to lean back so she could land on her
bottom.

4

“What did you say to the messenger, mi’lady? Do you remember the exact words of your last proposal?”
She recognized Quinlan’s voice behind her.

How in thunder could she possibly remember? Hadn’t any of them been listening?

She couldn’t turn to face Quinlan because their leader still had hold of her, and he didn’t seem to be the
least bit inclined to let go.

“I probably said, ‘Will you marry me?’”

Connor smiled. He pulled her toward him, lowered his head, and kissed her just
long enough to stun her.

He lifted his head then, looked into her eyes, and finally spoke to her.

“Yes, Brenna. I will marry you.”

5

I know the truth now. You’ve figured out I’m falling in love with you and you’re trying to make me stop by hurting me this way. Well it won’t work.
One way or another, I’m going to make you care about me. Yes, I am, unless your cold attitude kills me first.
It’s only fair, Connor. If I’m going to be miserable, by God, so are you.

—
Ava Delany
The Fetish Club Series, The Homecoming Series, and The Beginnings Series.
Look for my newest release- A Surprising Day – on Kindle, Allromanceebooks, and many other places where ebooks are sold.

We have a new blogger. Please welcome…

Robin Delany writes historical and contemporary romance as well as paranormal. She will start blogging next week about the journey to publication and the other things that affect her as a new writer in multiple genres. Please welcome her to the blog.

The Marks of an Editor

By Kay Springsteen

With the rise in the rates of e-published books by independent companies and self-published authors, calls are going out for editors. As a senior editor at Astraea Press, I’ve been looking at editors’ tests with the goal of assisting in decisions about whether or not to hire applicants. And it’s because I’m seeing the same mistakes over and over that I decided to share what good editors must know to be successful at helping an author produce the best polished manuscript.

Thorough and demonstrable understanding of the mechanics of writing. This includes grammar, punctuation, and spelling.

Knowledge of the elements of story construction. This includes such things as point of view and how to recognize inappropriate shifts from one head to another in the scene (point of view breaks), recognition of telling where the author should be showing, the proper use of dialogue tags, and the ability to identify plots and subplots with an eye to ensuring these all move the story forward to some degree, that they are all wrapped up, and that no holes exist.

Communication skills. This would include the ability to communicate ideas and needs with senior editing staff and publisher as well as to accept direction or request clarification in the event such direction is not well understood. In addition, of utmost importance is the ability to clearly correspond with each individual author. The editor must explain why a specific change is needed, and should, in most cases, never make the change him/herself but instead explain to the author what is needed and ask the author to use his/her own words and author voice to make the correction. It’s okay, encouraged even, for an editor to make suggestions in order to show the author more clearly what is being sought. However, the editor must resist the urge to rewrite the story out from under the author. Just because you feel your own personal word choice or a plot/subplot direction is better does not make the author’s choices incorrect. Above all else, the story must remain the author’s story.

People skills. These days, little direct contact is made between editor and author. Most of the communication is done through email and through the notes in the margins. It is important that an editor explain why changes are requested in a manuscript, and in many cases illustrative suggestions should be offered—but not in such a way as the editor rewrites the book. Edits should be accomplished with the utmost respect regardless of what an editor thinks of the story or the author. And they should be made showing kindness and courtesy, not autocratically. Basically, it goes back to attracting more flies with honey than with vinegar. Unless you run across a colony of masochistic flies, honey is definitely the bait of choice. A little sugar goes a long way toward the working dynamic between two creative personalities. Thus, it is not enough to request editorial changes, even with an explanation. The editor needs to recognize an author’s bits of brilliance, and it’s important to show the author what he or she has done well along the way. That’s where compliments from the editor help. By providing positive feedback, the author is encouraged to continue doing what he/she has done right. Make all those red marks count!

With these tips in mind, I wish anyone who is of a mind to apply for an editing position the best of luck, and maybe one day soon I’ll be working with you. Anyone interested in applying to Astraea Press for an editing position, please submit your resume and qualifications with a letter of interest to Stephanie Taylor at stephanietaylor@astraeapress.com – good luck!

Setting the tone for submission

Say hello again to Karen Frisch, author of What’s in a Name.

Once again I’ve returned to the first 10 pages of my new manuscript. I need to make the best impression possible on the editor who will read it beforehand and review it with me at the upcoming conference I’m attending. I’ll be shaking inside, though I’ll appear confident. The opening needs to be so strong that she’ll want the rest of the story and I can emerge from the appointment without emotional trauma.

I’ve given up counting the number of individual versions I’ve done of the opening paragraph. Because those early sentences are so critical to its success, I fight for every word. Each has to do double duty, setting the emotional tone while introducing the story. It’s the precision of the word choice that defines both character and voice.

All writers are familiar with the process. We put words in, then take them out just as quickly. We revise a sentence to make it match more precisely what’s in our mind, then decide the next day we liked the original better—after we’ve already updated it on our backup flash drive and the original has been deleted. Sound familiar? This self-inflicted torture is part of our writing routine.

The writing process reminds me of the way figure skaters build confidence before a competition. They spend months preparing, practicing, and perfecting their routine. On the day of competition they warm up on the rink, do a few test jumps, and wait by the boards to collect their thoughts before they’re introduced as their turn arrives. They step off carefully on the ice, just as a writer puts words tentatively on a cold screen.

Finding the essence of a character early in the story is a process that goes soul-deep. It’s not for the faint of heart. If I step out of my main character’s perspective, I need to correct it at that point, not avoid it as I’m tempted to do. The process contains more trepidation than writing the later chapters. I probably spend as much time on the first three or so chapters as I do on the rest of the book. They have to be perfect or close to it. It’s the reason why page 1, paragraph 1, line 1 has to be exactly right. It sets the voice and tone and tells me who my heroine is so I can interpret her for the reader. Once I have that voice, it’s so loud and clear it helps me stay on the right path.

In Nathan Bransford’s wonderful article “How to Craft a Great Voice,” he writes, “Your voice is in you. It’s not you per se, but it’s made up of bits and pieces of you. It may be the expression of your sense of humor or your whimsy or your cynicism or frustration…” or more. For some of us, that’s the most frightening part. It’s part of us exposed on the page. It’s up to me to coax my main character’s voice out of her and find out what she wants to say. I’m tempted to say that portraying that voice accurately is my problem, but let’s be positive and say it’s my decision how to choose to interpret her.

Those countless hours we spend on the opening pages are among the most significant in the writing process. When we’re desperate and even the Thesaurus won’t help, the painstaking struggle for the right word can seem endless. There’s no feeling of triumph that compares with finding the right word. Confidence in our decisions speaks louder than words. That’s why we fight so hard to get the opening just right—and it’s what often makes the difference between acceptance and a pass.

Karen Frisch’s historical romance What’s in a Name is currently available from Avalon Books. She has also written a Victorian mystery, Murder Most Civil, and a Regency romance, Lady Delphinia’s Deception. All are available on Amazon, as are her two genealogy books, Unlocking the Secrets in Old Photographs and Creating Junior Genealogists.

5 great lines – Passion Unleashed

5 Great Lines from Larissa Ione, Passion Unleashed

1

“All I ever had before you was nightmares. But now I dream. Because of you.”

2

“So,uh, where am I, exactly ? And what do you plan on doing with me ?”
“You’re at Underworld General Hospital. As you can probably guess, we specialize in nonhuman medical care. Our location is secret, so don’t ask.”
“UGH ? Your hospital is called ‘ugh’ ? Oh, that’s precious.”

3

“I’ll bet you could make a woman throw out all her toys”

4

“I swear, I’ve never met any demon as annoying as you are.”

“You haven’t met my youngest brother.”

5

“Tayla’s here. And Gem. Luc. Kynan. Reaver. Our other brother, but he’s in chains. He’s also a total dick. You’ll like him.”

—
Ava Delany
The Fetish Club Series, The Homecoming Series, and The Beginnings Series.
Look for my newest release- A Surprising Day – on Kindle, Allromanceebooks, and many other places where ebooks are sold.

The Details Start the Engine

by Kay Springsteen

Imagine building a car and forgetting to install a crucial part of the engine. If it starts at all, it’s not likely to run well, and it may end up stopping rather abruptly. Those who assemble cars, no matter what stage of the car they work on, follow a blueprint—detailed plans that outline exactly what part goes in what position. Every part has a place and every place requires the part that fits.

Writing is much the same. A story is made up of various elements, to include characters, plot, setting… And it’s the details of each of these that are built upon to present the whole picture. A thought here, a bit of dialogue there, the way the wind pushes the curtain or a ticking clock fills a silence.

When my collaborator, Kim Bowman, and I wrote A Lot Like a Lady, we researched the historical details surrounding our chosen time period and our setting. We probably didn’t get it all right but we’re confident that some of it, at least, is as authentic as we could make it. But because of our research and desire to get it right, our writing actually suffered. Kim and I both tend to write in deep third person point of view and we love to show our characters’ emotions to the point where the reader feels them along with the character. We also like to pay attention to details of the setting – not heavy paragraphs loaded with description but a kind of filtering in of the details as the characters (remember in deep third pov) might experience them.

But in the writing of A Lot Like A Lady, it was as if all the research into the history meant something had to be displaced—the filing cabinet was too full and the detail folder slipped to the rear, or the detail tool bar slid to the side and we failed to notice it. So we wrote a good story between us. We knew what things were called, we found the procedures, the hierarchy of nobility, what servants did what…

And then we went to editing. We were thrilled to have one of the best historical fiction analysts out there as our content editor, J. Gunnar Grey. The attention to historical detail Gunnar gives when writing is carried over into the editing field. This was it. Picture Kim and I giving ourselves high fives. Our good story was about to be made better.

And then the sound of a whip cracking could be heard amid the partying.

“What room are they in? Is it light?”

“Does sunlight filter through the window? What does it hit?”

“Do sounds reach the characters from outside?”

“Are there any vases of flowers sitting around? Is the fragrance light and pleasant or overpowering?”  

Page after page of questions like this. Now imagine Kim and I looking at each other in confusion. Did we really write our story and forget all the settings?

The short, and somewhat embarrassing answer here is simply: Yup. We did. At least for the most part our first draft of A Lot Like A Lady had our characters telling their story in a vacuum.

Now, once we were made aware of this by our jewel of an editor, it became a simple matter to do what we both always do—that being to run back through the entire manuscript and filter in the details that show what the characters saw, heard, touched, tasted, and smelled. We added splashes of sunlight and gentle breezes, the scent of lilies, the splash of a brook.

To soften the blow of pointing out our mistake, our editor did, very nicely, tell us that it was obvious we had simply overlooked layering in these details during our first self-edit in our zeal to provide a more historically accurate picture.

Bottom line here? The details make all the difference. We added a few thousand words worth of details and our characters were no longer telling their story in a vacuum.

~Kay

Find A Lot Like A Lady on Amazon, Astraea Press, and Barnes & Noble

So Sweet I Got a Cavity

by Kay Springsteen

Many people know that I write sweet romance, published by Astraea Press. Many times I’ve been asked why. “Why sweet romance?” There seems to be a perception among some people that those who write without graphic depiction of sexual acts or use of cursing are somehow lacking in their writing abilities. Sweet authors often are criticized as writing stories with unrealistic plots and inauthentic language,  and characters who aren’t fully rounded or who have relationships that are not fully developed because they don’t curse or are not shown having sexual relations.

As both a writer of sweet romance, and an editor of sweet romance and YA fiction, I must respectfully disagree with this assessment. When we write “sweet,” we simply take our stories in a different direction from explicit sex, cursing, and graphic violence. There are more and better ways to demonstrate a character’s anger than spewing curse words, which in my opinion are often over-used in some stories to the point where they become numbing and unnoticed, and that leaves the writer with no stronger language to use when the tension builds.

As for the romance and sexual side of that statement… We have plenty of romance in our sweet stories. We simply lean more heavily on the emotional side of the love story than the physical, and our plots don’t particularly revolve around showing sexual gratification. However, not showing explicit sex does not mean writers of sweet romance do not show sexual tension and chemistry. There is far more to romance and the chemistry of love than what is to be found between the sheets and sweet romance authors can and do show this side of the story quite well.

So why do I write sweet? For the same reason some writers write spicy or hot. Because it’s about the story. And some readers simply don’t feel the need or the inclination to follow a couple into the bedroom, and while swearing may be slowly becoming part of everyday life around the world, there still are some people who don’t care to hear or read it. Clean reading is designed for these readers. But it is not necessarily only for such readers.

I don’t feel a book needs to be filled with anything more than a good story to be fully enjoyable. I read many different authors and heat levels. In fact, I have written some steamier books myself, and have been published – I write those things under a pseudonym for the benefit of my readers who have come to appreciate my clean writing – so they will have absolutely no confusion about what they will find between the pages of one of my books. And just as I’ve heard romance authors being criticized for writing steamy bedroom scenes, I have had sweet writing criticized for being “so sweet it causes cavities.”

The thing is…there are certainly enough readers to go around, and as many writers with different ideas of what to include in a story. But no reader should be made to feel like he or she has to skip parts of a book if it carries the potential to offend, just as those with the proclivity for a steamier read should and do have such reading at their fingertips. It really is a matter of to each his own. My only wish is that those who write more explicitly and graphically be allowed to do so without being called smut authors, and for those who write to the sweeter side not be criticized for being unrealistic or boring. As a friend and fellow author once said, “Can’t we all just write?” For me, it’s really all about the story.

Happy Reading!

~Kay (find me on Facebook)

And please check out the Regency romance I co-wrote with Kim Bowman, A Lot Like A Lady

Ladies’ maid, Juliet Baines has gotten herself into a pickle by agreeing to go to London and taking the place of her mistress and best friend, Annabella Price, stepsister to the Duke of Wyndham. After all, what does a servant know about being a lady? But Juliet soon finds that pretending to be a lady isn’t nearly as hard as guarding her heart against the folly of wanting a man who’s completely out of reach.

Graeme “Grey” Roland Dominick Markwythe, Sixth Duke of Wyndham, approaches his duties as a nobleman with great dedication and meticulous care. And he’s a man who is not easily fooled…except when he tries to convince himself he’s not utterly and madly in love with the beautiful imposter who has turned his life upside down. Will society and his responsibilities to his noble status keep him from opening his heart to the woman he loves?