I finally took the plunge and put myself out there in the publishing world. I few months ago I wrote a short story for the writing class I am currently taking. My instructor loved it and praised me on how heart felt the story was. So I figured I would see what my crit partners thought. They all encouraged me to try and get it published. I worked with my crit partners to get it as polished a possible. Excitement over the reaction to my story gave me the strength to try my hand in the publishing world.
I was overjoyed and my confidence was huge. I knew I could do this and my worry of the dreaded no was nowhere to be found. I had to wait two weeks before I could submit. I counted down the days. Everyday that passed was one more day closer to my dream of being able to say I’d had one of my stories published. It was all I could think about.
Then the day came to submit my story and doubt crept in. It was a foreboding feeling I wasn’t expecting. I found myself procrastinating. I was doing everything I could to find a reason to do it later. All that excitement was no where to be found. Only the evil little voice, “What are you going to do if they say no? You will have to tell everyone and feel the shame of failing.”
Finally I went to my computer and opened the Glimmer Train website and stared at the screen. This was it. This was my big moment. I reached deep down for the strength I needed to open myself to the dreaded no. I downloaded my story and paused as I reached for the mouse to hit the submit button. I looked over, my hand was shaking and my heart was racing. With a deep breath I hit the little red button that would leave me open to defeat.
I have encouraged many a crit partner not to worry. They would be fine. I’ve told them I believe in you and your writing. But here I sat with no faith in myself. Now I realize, telling another writers not to worry is easier said than done. It’s a really weird feeling to be able to believe in others but not in yourself.
Now the really hard part is set in motion. The waiting and wondering. I asked some of my published writing friends how they deal with the waiting. I was hoping for a miracle cure. Take two aspirin and call me when you’ve made a decision. Yeah right. But there isn’t one, you just have to keep busy and carry on. Here are some quotes from published authors I crit with.
“Write another story. And for God’s sake don’t sit on your e-mail like a lost puppy. *easier said than done”
“There is a terrible, hollow dread after submitting, an uneasy anticipatory void. The trick is to fill it as quickly and completely as you can. Count on rejections. Scout the terrain. Find your next victim, er, potential publisher. And for the gods’ sakes, work on your next project while you wait.”
“I write. Nothing gets your mind off the numbing fear of submissions better than engrossing yourself in the next story. (Or the editing of another completed story.)”
Crushing Desire and Bound by Love
Happy Reading and Writing.