Does This Sound Familiar?

What do women want in a man? Well there are a few things we expect. The thing is men say they can’t understand us, but it’s really not that hard. The things we want aren’t that difficult to achieve. As women we thrive on these thing and it keeps the relationship strong. You don’t have to necessarily have every single one of these traits but remember these are the things that really rev our engines, so to speak.  Oh and at the bottom I will tell you the whole point of this blog.

Women want confidence.

Stand tall and believe in yourself. We don’t want some wimpy crybaby. I’m not saying don’t be sensitive but there is a time and place for being sensitive to our needs. Sensitive every waking moment is a definite turn off.

Women want a man that makes her feel like she is the only one.

We go nuts over a man that focuses on only us when we are out and about. We don’t want a man who checks out every woman we pass. Yes I know it is in your nature men to do this but at least do it with some taste and not blatantly right in front of us. We want to be the center of your universe or at least feel like we are.

Women want a man with a sense of humor.

We love a man that can make us laugh. Take a chance and be silly. Laughing brings joy and if just made her laugh, you just brought joy into her life. Bingo now she wants to spend more time with you.

Women want a man that will listen to us and not give advice.

One of the biggest problems with men is they always want to solve the big dilemma. Well reality check. Sometimes we don’t want you to fix it, we just want you to listen. Yeah we may be whinny at time but let us have our moment and we will get over it. When you try to fix it we get angry and it drags on longer.

Women want men to treat them like the sexiest woman on the planet.

We want men to make us fell like there is no one that compares to us. Men that border on out of control in the bedroom because we drive them over the edge. We want to feel sexy and sometimes we need a little reassurance from our men.

Women want loyal men, we need to know you will be faithful.

We don’t want to have to worry or wonder what you are doing every time you walk out the door. A loyal man is very sexy. It all goes back to not wanting anyone else but one woman.

Women love a man with a plan. We love ambition.

We like men who know who they are, what we’re doing tonight and what we’re doing with our lives. We don’t want indecisive men, don’t shrug your shoulders and say whatever you want to do. That drives most women crazy. Sweep us off our feet and surprise us.

Women want generous men.

This doesn’t mean gifts necessarily, though gifts are nice. We want a man that is willing to give to others. It could be your time to a good cause or helping someone in need. But again I will say gifts are nice every once in awhile, it says you were thinking about us.

Be a true friend.

We need friendship, in fact we crave it. If we don’t feel the closeness of being friends we feel the relationship is fractured. Be there rather than just promise to be there. Constant committed positive action is the definition of love. We need to be able to depend on you.

Women want to be loved, despite their flaws, and need to be satisfied mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as much as physically.

Women need to feel connected to the love of their life. If we don’t feel that connection the whole relationship is off. Sexually speaking women define sex differently than men, using words like soft candlelight, light touch, then becoming more aggressive as their mood arises to the occasion.

Women appreciate a man that is creative.

It’s easy to buy flowers but it is the little things you do for us that are so important. The little notes you leave us, or the sweet little text we get in the middle of the day letting us know you are thinking about us. We thrive on the little things you do especially for us. Put it this way if you think it is corny and stupid we will probably love it.

Women want a sense of security.

We want to know you will always be there in our time of need. We want to know you will still be there if we get sick or when we get old or flabby. We feel secure when your there to support us emotionally and physically.

To sum it up.

Ok now to give you the true reason for this blog. Does any of this sound familiar to any of you romance writers? These are the qualities we write into our hero’s. (Confidence, only wants one woman, sense of humor, listens well, makes heroine feel like the sexiest woman alive, loyal, has a plan, generous, friendship, creative, gives sense of security.) We write what we want in a man. Creating a hero that is every woman’s dream. We supply the fantasy, the gorgeous hunk with all the right moves. It’s funny how we do this without even thinking about it. I don’t sit around and say I want my hero to be all these things. It just happens. It is in our nature as a woman to want these things. These things are the basis for a great hero. Women have to be drawn into the story to keep reading. As writers we have to supply them with this perfect man. They expect to be swept off their feet and indulge in the fantasy.

Happy Reading and Writing,

Tabitha Blake


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