It Ain’t Porn…


One of the things that irks me the most is when someone tells me that writing Erotic Romance is easy. On my journey as a writer, I have come across some very narrow mindedness, which for a very long time forced me into the “closet” about what I do.  Luckily, I have grown up a bit and am now quite proud of what I write. I let everyone know it too.  Still up until that point I did get a lot of negative feedback from some very close friends and some not so close. Some I don’t even speak to anymore. What they told me not only upset me, but also made my resolve stronger to be the best Erotic Romance writer I could be. I guess in a way I should thank them for giving me that extra push…

I heard this often:

What? You write Porn?  (Add sarcasm with a twist of shock)

No! I write Erotic Romance. Big, big difference. Porn (if written right) serves one purpose…to arouse and fulfill sexual need.  I write to move the senses. If arousal is part of it, only makes it better. Erotic Romance is a perfect mixture of love, passion, and fantasy. Explicit sex scenes in Erotic Romance are meant to push the story forward. It is meant to show on a physical level what two or more consenting adults feel for one another. Love is always involved, even in the most explicit scenes and even if the scene includes dominance over another, love is the driving force. 

Getting this mixture of Sex/passion + love + fantasy = emotionally charged, to NOT come across as, for lack of a better term, “porn-ish”, is part experience and mostly talent.

For example, I have been writing for several years, however it wasn’t until about five and a half years ago that I took my writing out and began submitting it to publishers for consideration. I had already been writing erotic romance for several years as well as more non-romance genres. It was the erotic romance genre that challenged me the most. In fact, writing romance of any kind is not easy. Romance is supposed ignite certain feelings in the reader that ultimately will make them walk away satisfied and happy.

It took me over five years, probably several more, then that to actually get the knowledge and the finesse to pull off erotic romance and get a book published.  I am a good writer always have been. However, getting to the point of being good enough to sell a book takes hard work, a lot of learning, and practice. My most recent lesson has been that learning this beautiful art of erotic romance writing is an ongoing process. 

Now whenever someone asks me what kind of books I write, I proudly announce, “Erotic romance!” (Plaster a huge smile and prideful gleam in the eye) Surprisingly, many people are very receptive. Some have also bought my book.  There are still those that quip and claim what I do is “not real literature,” ….It no longer bothers me however. In fact, the harder I push myself to learn and develop my craft, the more I appreciate just how unique and awesome this genre is.

Happy reading

Emma

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4 responses to “It Ain’t Porn…

  1. Great post. I get the same condescending looks whenever someone asks what I write. When I say paranormal romance, I get the eye roll and the predictable, “Ah, a heaving bosom story.”
    I usually just shrug and smirk. One person went so far as to ask me how I could write that crap. That really pissed me off. I didn’t bother saying anything because really, what can be said after a snarky comment like that? Writing is the hardest thing I have ever done. I don’t give a care what genre a person writes– ALL WRITING IS TOUGH.

  2. Brenda, I can totally relate, thanks for the comment hun.

  3. I’m lucky in that being a male I can give them the “fuck’em” look and say with straight face “I write erotic romance. Bitch.”

    But that’s after an eleven year stint in this business. Good for you though hon!

  4. LOL, Sashaillyviauthor. I like your attitude. The next time some idiot calls my writing a heaving bosom story, I’m going to say. “Nope, it’s a slam-her-up-against-the-wall-and screw-her-brains-out story, hehehehe.

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