I’ve always been one to put a song with every topic or sentence in my life. So when this topic hit me in the head, a some came with it.
Sex Scenes SUCK!
Calm down – I have nothing against hot sweaty bodies writhing with with passion. Their nakedness sliding against each other, flesh to flesh, body to body.
Actually, I love sex, just ask my fiance. But he’s one of the reason I don’t like sex scenes. Imagine this situation:
AJ sits at her work computer, tucked quietly away from the family in her upstairs writers cave. The door closed, esentially saying:
I’m writing, GO AWAY!
Unless you are bleeding, and that’s still ifffy.
He edges her ass to the end of the silken sheeted bed. Her damp core leaving tell tale spots of the desire that has been plaguing her dreams.
“Hey honey, what’s for dinner?”
“I haven’t looked.”
“You have an idea?”
“I haven’t looked. I don’t know what we have.”
“So, you gonna come look?”
“How about now?”
It’s at this point that I throw in the proverbial towel and give up. I put the computer to sleep and head off to fix dinner.
Dinner done, I’m headed back to my comfy balance ball. It sits a whole lot better than the stupid office chairs.
Her damp core leaving tell tale spots of the desire that has been plaguing her dreams.
Come on guys, there’s sex to be had.
“What did you have for dinner,” he says huskily thinking about a nice juicy t-bone steak.
It doesn’t matter what I had, you guys are HAVING sex! Now get to it.
“Did you have desert? I love desert,” She says, her fingers playing in the soft curls leading to his flacid manhood.
“Oh, I love chocolate cake, and whipped cream. There was this one girl I used to date,” he muses with a far off look in his eyes, “boy did she taste good with some whipped cream running from her pert breasts,” he sighs.
“What, my breasts aren’t good enough for you now? You were seconds away from putting your throbbing member into my damp core. And are you trying to say that my breasts aren’t pert? You don’t think ‘I’ would be tasty with whipped cream on me?” she blasted at him while pulling the sheet up around her breasts.
“That’s not what I was saying at all. You are the most beautiful woman in the world. I just brought up Tonya because we were talking about desert, and I wanted you to know that I like desert too.”
“TONYA? You’ve slept with her? I can’t believe it. The things I learn when we should be having sex. It’s a good thing that AJ went to dinner and we had to wait for her. Can you belive the mistake I would have made? AJ? Get me out of here, I don’t want to look at him again,” she stormed out the door sheet in hand covering her more than ample breasts. As she slammed the door the sheet caught and you could hear her muttered curse all the way down the hall.
“You see AJ, this is why I’d rather masterbate, you chicks are just too moody for me.”
I’m quite sure that I can make sure he never has to have sex again, I weild the pencil that rises or lowers his sail.
AJ Best can be found and harassed at http://www.ajbestwrites.com. She tries to make sure that there is a touch of real life in every one of her stories. Feel free to drop her a line at firstname.lastname@example.org.